5 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
Have you ever felt like your own worst enemy? Do you behave in ways that contradict your values or goals? Self-sabotaging is a common problem for many people who find that their actions stand in the way of their happiness. Understand the roots of self-sabotaging behaviors and use these tips to make your life more successful and less conflicted.
Understand what it is. Many people engage in troublesome habits that are really self-destructive behaviors. Over time, these behaviors can undermine our happiness and success. Sometimes, these behaviors are the result of addictive or compulsive behaviors. Other times, they are the result of our sub-conscious fighting against our goals. This can occur for a number of reasons, including fear, low self-worth or perceived fraudulence. Because it's not always easy for people to determine the reasons behind their self-sabotaging, many turn to therapists who can help them identify underlying issues and develop better ways to align their behaviors with their goals.
Become aware. You can't break self-sabotaging habits if they occur without your knowledge. Try to take a step back and honestly assess your daily habits. Ask yourself if there are any patterns of destructive mindsets that could be holding you back. It could be procrastination, negative self-talk or perfectionism which creates an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward. Once you identify problematic issues, look for ways to alter your behavior. If you continue to fall back into troublesome patterns, consider seeking help from a qualified therapist.
Look for causes. If you consistently drop the ball on commitments, engage in unhealthy habits or take relationships for granted, it's time to ask yourself, why? Quite often, self-destructive behaviors are rooted in feelings of low self-worth. You might harbor feelings of inadequacy or feel you don't deserve happiness or success. You may even self-sabotage yourself as a twisted, sub-conscious way of controlling your own fate. Work on acknowledging and identifying the cause behind your self-sabotage, and then begin making changes to alter those behaviors.
Manage stress. Traditional self-sabotage occurs when our logical, conscious minds are at odds with our subconscious minds. But, there's another form of self-sabotage that centers on compulsive behaviors. Many people manage stress by adopting destructive behaviors. They drink alcohol excessively, overeat, buy things they can't afford, and engage in risky sex. Sometimes this is due to stress; other times it is the result of underlying issues related to their childhood. Try to use meditation and exercise to manage your stress. If you can't seem to break destructive habits, consider seeking help from a therapist.
Reflect. Self-reflection is essential to understanding why we do the things we do. By taking time to look closely at why you keep shooting yourself in the foot, you can gain a deeper awareness into yourself and the underlying motivations behind your actions. Successful people take time to consider their choices and actions to identify what works and what doesn't. They then adjust accordingly and take a different approach when necessary. Self-reflection can give you perspective, insight and understanding, so you can start living according to your values and goals.
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