Strategies to Ensure the Holiday Won't Overwhelm You
Mother's Day is a powerful day to celebrate moms. However, for many it can be a day filled with sadness and loss. Here are seven ways to find comfort if Mothers Day isn't happy for you.
Tune out the noise
Holidays are filled with commercial hype and Mother's Day is no exception. As you see idyllic families portrayed in television shows and commercials, don't forget that the “perfect” family is not the same thing for all people. Don't judge your relationships or life based on artificial standards; instead take stock of those people who lift your spirits and nurture your soul. Remember that family is more than blood relation; at its heart it is the people we choose to make a part of our lives and who make our lives better.
Be good to you
Whether you're coping with loss or a less-than-storybook mother-and-child relationship, the most important thing you can do in the days leading up to Mother's Day (and on the day itself) is be good to yourself.
Surround yourself with those you love and who love you. Immerse yourself in activities that make you happy and fuel your sense of self worth. Life can be hectic and demands for your time are never in short supply. Carving out time for yourself is always important, but it is doubly so when dates on the calendar ramp up your stress or unease. If you're feeling down or agitated, make sure to make time to do those things that calm and restore you, whether it is exercise, meditation or even just taking an hour to watch your favorite TV show or read a good book.
Don't judge yourself
One of the worst things we do to ourselves is compare our lives, our reactions or our success to that of others. Just as family means different things to different people, so, too, does celebrating Mother's Day. It's OK to feel ambivalent about the holiday, so don't judge yourself too harshly if it doesn't inspire the same sort of excited emotion you see in others.
Anticipate your emotions
You know your triggers and your struggles, and if you know Mother's Day will be difficult for you, be ready for it. Think positively, boost your confidence with good self-talk and avoid difficult situations. Just because you have been invited to a celebratory brunch or backyard barbecue doesn't mean you have to go. Turn down those invitations that you know will only evoke a stress response.
Carry on traditions
If Mother's Day is hard because you have lost your mom, one way to honor her and help yourself is to carry on her traditions. In addition to acting as a fond tribute, doing so can help your children get to know their grandmother.
Remember Mom
Whether you do so by writing a letter, lighting a candle or making a donation to a nonprofit in her name, if your mother is gone, small or large gestures to remember her can be a meaningful way to celebrate the holiday and can help you cope with the loss in a positive way.
Seek support
You never have to go it alone. Whether you're grieving or trying to reconcile your thoughts about a relationship, talking to a trusted confidant can be the most useful too at your disposal. Find a support group, have a conversation with a friend or seek out a counselor. Our team at Foundations has expertise and experience in grief counseling , family counseling , authoritative parenting and life coaching . Give us a call today for a free consultation to talk about how we can help you.
