5 Parenting Tips to Help You Avoid Raising an Entitled Child
Some well-meaning parenting strategies can promote entitled attitudes that leave kids unprepared for life's adversities. Here are five things parents can do to raise resilient, self-aware kids.
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Establish a regular allowance. Many parents offer monetary rewards to their children in exchange for doing chores. To instill greater responsibility, however, it's best to establish an agreement in which you hand out money once a week or once a month. This makes the allowance stand on its own as a teaching tool that can be sharpened over the years by adding yearly raises and fresh responsibilities. Ideally, the allowance should function like practice money to help kids learn to responsibly plan and control their finances. If your child slips up on his or her chores, avoid making deductions from his or her allowance and consider taking away privileges instead.
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Raise your expectations. We want our children to experience peaceful, care-free childhoods, especially if our childhoods were filled with too much stress. That said, it's important to remember that responsibility helps to prepare children for the real world. Remember that, as part of the family, your child should make meaningful contributions for the sake of everyone. Many parents are surprised to learn that children usually embrace higher standards by meeting or exceeding them. Adopting higher standards won't just make life a bit easier for you; it will give your kids life skills that will make them more self-sufficient as they head out into the world.
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Avoid giving in. If you say "yes" when you know you should say "no," you aren't doing your child any favors. Whether they're asking for candy at the register or begging for $200 shoes, children need a little disappointment to help shape their worldviews. It's not about being the bad guy; it's about being a good parent who instills resiliency and healthy coping skills. Ignore the eye-rolling, tears and fits, and establish healthy boundaries you can stick to.
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Don't grab the reins. It's not easy for parents to watch their children fail. If we always step in to fix every problem, however, we don't allow our kids to grow. Remember that every challenge presents a learning opportunity. Through mistakes, children learn resiliency, while building confidence that comes with powering through adversity. Don't be afraid to let your kids fail every now and then, especially if the consequences won't be that great.
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Help them give back. Many parents try to instill gratitude in their children by reminding them that many people have it worse. Over time, however, this overused tactic can fall on deaf ears. Instead of reminding your kids how good they have it, try giving them an opportunity to give back. This could involve donating a small portion of their allowances to a kid-focused charity. It could also mean helping an elderly neighbor with some yard work. Whatever the case, when children are given the chance to do something for someone else, it instills a sense of pride and selflessness that can give them a greater perspective on their places in the world.
Raising a Well-adjusted Adult
We've all known kids who feel entitled to having things their way. Unfortunately, many of these children will grow up expecting good things to come without any setbacks. Many times, over-entitled kids eventually grow into demanding spouses and high-maintenance employees. What's worse, because they often lack resiliency, these adults may have difficult rebounding from adversity, which could lead to less successful lives.
With this in mind, you should take steps to ensure that your child will be prepared for life's realities, so they can grow up to be grounded, fully-functional adults.
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