How Successful Couples Nurture Their Relationships
Good relationships take work, especially if you've spent years with the same person. So, what are some of the most common traits of successful couples? Here are five suggestions that can help you nurture a healthy, loving relationship that stands the test of time.
- They develop and express empathy for each other. One of the most significant steps to developing a loving, long-term bond involves empathy. This is the ability to perceive things through the other person's point of view, while offering compassion and understanding. When we actively empathize with our partners, it becomes easier to accept their quirks, foibles and moods. At the same time, it's not always enough just to feel this way. Successful couples make a habit of showing their empathy through words and gestures, so their partners are more comfortable expressing their emotions.
- They learn how to disagree. No matter how perfect you are for each other, you and your partner will disagree from time to time. Sometimes, you will feel differently about big, important things, such as which house to buy or whether you can really afford a vacation. Other times, the disagreements will be over small things, such as who should do the dishes or sweep the patio. Whatever the conflict, it's important to remember that even small disagreements can cause harmful resentment over time. Successful couples are able to temper their frustrations and remember that they are a part of the same team. This type of healthy mindset can help alleviate conflict faster and more amicably.
- They don't ignore problems. Not everyone enters a relationship with healthy communication skills. This can be due to parenting issues, unhealthy past relationships or unresolved personal and emotional challenges. When successful couples recognize an issue, they don't sweep it under the rug and hope it will get better. A large percentage of successful couples attend couples counseling to nurture their relationships and learn healthier ways to communicate. In many instances, this not only strengthens the relationship; it also promotes healthier relationships with friends, family and co-workers.
- They are grateful. Research has shown that people tend to be much happier when they practice gratitude . Successful couples translate this into happier relationships by reminding themselves how fortunate they are to have each other. You can leverage this healthy mental attitude by keeping a gratitude journal, in which you record things about your partner that make you feel grateful. Whether it's a simple gesture of love, a kind act, or the cute curl of your partner's smile; you should each record three to five things about each other every day. The act of writing can help solidify your feelings of gratitude, even if you find yourself writing similar things each day.
- They are more about "we" than "me." In relationships, it's generally best to view things from a "we" and "our" perspective instead of seeing things as "my" or "mine." When practicing gratitude, for instance, it's healthier to say, "I am grateful we have a nice house to live in and healthy, happy kids who seem to enjoy life" rather than, "I am grateful I have a nice home and my kids are making me proud." It may seem like a minor issue, but if your attitudes align with the latter statement more than the former, you will probably have more difficulty cultivating a mutually rewarding relationship.
Foundations Counseling offer compassionate therapy for married and unmarried couples in Windsor, Loveland, Fort Collins and Colorado. Our caring therapists can help you and your partner open healthy lines of communication and attain your strongest relationship. Contact us today!
